Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee

Without meaning to sound like a total penis, I don't very often pay to see films. Perk of the job innit. But this, I paid to see. Which is a good thing, because it was very stupid and very funny. The premise is a mocumentary shot in five days, centering around a rapper from the midlands, Scor-Zay-Zee, and his manger, Donk, who are trying to get a slot supporting the Arctic Monkeys. Considine is ridiculously funny, especially when rapping about Harold Shipman. And if that doesn't make you want to see a film, then I don't know what will.

Glorious 39

Oh dear. A sort of murder mystery of the Midsomer variety. Which it shouldn't be really considering the cast and the director. It starts off well enough, but slowly (very slowly, I'd knock at least half an hour of this) gets increasingly more ridiculous until you actually fully expect Miss Marple to pop out and make sense of the non-sensical. I'd almost rather she had. I know Mr Poliakoff is a very clever man, but in this outing, he's also more than a little boring.

A Single Man

Dear Tom Ford. If this is what the mind of a fashionable gay looks like, can I be one? Possibly the most beautiful film you'll see this year: Colin Firth (naked), Nicholas Hoult (naked) and Matthew Goode (not naked, although I may have been so blinded by bare bum at this point that I didn't even notice), you can only imagine the fun Ford had in directing his first ever film. Add to that exquisite tailoring (obviously) and glorious sets, who even cares what the narrative is?

Where The Wild Things Are

I saw this. I'm not allowed to talk about it yet though. But as soon as I am, I will probably talk quite a bit about how much I loved it and how utterly brilliant it is.

Love Happens

I will fully admit that the trailer for this film looks awful. Really, horribly awful. But what I was hoping, was that it would be the sort of awful that is actually quite brilliant. Blue Crush/Crossroads awful. Turns out, it's just awful. Firstly, Jennifer Aniston, please stop wearing pigtails. It's just not appropriate in a woman over 10. Secondly, Jennifer Aniston's agent, really? REALLY? After all the media lambasting, surely the least poor Jen deserves is a decent script every once in a while. Or even every once. I digress. The film is just not very good. If I'd paid money, I'd want it back. I sort of wanted money back even though I didn't pay money. Bad characters, bad story, bad script, bad, bad, bad. Even Aaron Eckhart, who I quite like in spite of the fact his face is massive, was a bit disappointing. Save your money. Rent Blue Crush.